Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Local drummer arrested after death threat

Los Angles police arrested scofflaw Tyler Sabbag late Tuesday just hours after the drummer issued a frightening death threat to The Tsunami.

Sabbag, 23, a member The New Motherfuckers, told The Tsunami shortly after 8 p.m.: “i'm going to fucking kill you if you don't make me a top friend. die you stupid wave.”

After being notified by The Tsunami of the shocking comment posted to The Tsunami’s myspace.com profile, police quickly responded to Sabbag’s Alvarado Street residence and arrested the drummer.

“He was sitting on the couch eating cereal when officers kicked in the front door,” Los Angeles Police Capt. Ed Bradley said. “He was crying like a little sissy.”

According to the drummer’s roommates, Sabbag was angry at The Tsunami for publishing accounts of the drummer’s two recent embarrassing hospitalizations, one after slipping on a cantaloupe in a supermarket, and the other only two days later after contracting fleas from a vintage leather jacket.

Tyler plays the drums, he’s not used to the spotlight,” said Geoff Geis, singer for The New Motherfuckers. “And of course The Tsunami never writes about the charitable work he does.”


Monday, April 2, 2007

Local drummer catches fleas from vintage thrift-store jacket

The drummer for Echo Park-based rock band The New Motherfuckers was hospitalized late Monday after catching fleas from a newly purchased vintage thrift-store jacket.

Tyler Sabbag, 23, was being treated at press time at Los Angeles County USC Medical Center, and was listed in serious but stable condition, a hospital spokeswoman said.

New Motherfuckers guitarist Duncan Thum told The Tsunami that at about 1 p.m. Monday he and Sabbag visited the Atwater Village branch of the popular Out of the Closet thrift store, where Sabbag purchased a vintage leather jacket for $7.25.

Tyler was pretty stoked about this jacket, and he was wearing it when we went for drinks at the Echo later that evening,” Thum said in an interview at the hospital waiting room.

According to several witnesses at the Echo, Sabbag began to act strange after knocking back a half dozen Tanqueray and tonics.

Tyler was having a blast,” Thum said. “He was giving high fives to strangers and yelling ‘woooo’ really loud. Then when the DJ put on ‘Dancing With Myself,’ Tyler started going nuts out on the dance floor.”

As Sabbag’s gyrations became more outrageous, a large group of club-goers formed a circle around the drummer and started clapping and cheering him on, Thum said.

“After about 30 seconds, Tyler fell to the floor and started rolling around,” Thum said. “Everyone was whooping and hollering, thinking it was part of the dance, but I began to get concerned when he started yelling.”

“Fucking goddamn piece of shit,” Sabbag reportedly screamed. “Somebody help me, I’ve got fleas!”

A bartender spotted Sabbag grimacing in pain and called paramedics, who conducted emergency CPR on the drummer before transporting him via helicopter to the hospital.

Los Angeles Police Capt. Ed Parker said the department was not conducting a criminal investigation into the incident.

“You again? How many more stupid questions are you going to ask before you give up?” Parker told The Tsunami. “There is no way we would arrest a jacket, fleas or not. How about writing a real news story from time to time; no one wants to read about some stupid band.”

New Motherfuckers singer Geoff Geis said in a statement that he resented being called “stupid” by Parker.

“He’s really not being constructive,” Geis said.


Sunday, April 1, 2007

‘Way cute’ bassist arrested for disturbing the peace

Alex Myrvold, bassist for Los Angeles band The New Motherfuckers, was arrested Sunday morning for disturbing the peace when a busload of teenage girls recognized the popular pin-up.

Myrvold was walking on the 1300 block of N. Alvarado Street at about 10:45 a.m. when the incident began, Los Angeles Police Capt. Ed Parker said.

“We have witnesses who have confirmed that while the busload of young women was stopped at a red light, the suspect, Myrvold, was facing in their direction looking ‘way cute,’” Parker said. “Several of the young women used that exact phrase, ‘way cute.’”

After recognizing the bassist, the teenage girls began screaming in unison in what witnesses said were extremely high pitches.

“I was waiting at the red light, and out of nowhere I heard what sounded like a missile or a low-flying aircraft,” said Becky Anderson, 33, who was being treated by paramedics at the scene for a severe ear-bleed. “A few seconds later, my car windows began shattering. Then all hell broke loose.”

Despite the pandemonium – three dozen cars in the vicinity of the bus had windows shattered, causing several fender benders and large fires – Myrvold continued to entice the young women, Parker said.

“I don’t know how many times I have to repeat this. Myrvold would not stop being cute. Several witnesses have confirmed this fact,” Parker said. “We believe that the suspect was acting in this case with malice, as any concerned citizen whose behavior was causing such destruction would cease that behavior. Myrvold made no attempt to calm the teenage girls. He continued to be cute.”

At press time, Myrvold was being held in lieu of $10,000 bail at the Los Angeles Police Department’s Echo Park lock-up.


Local drummer hospitalized after run-in with melon

Tyler Sabbag, drummer for local rock band The New Motherfuckers, was hospitalized Saturday night after sustaining injuries when he slipped on a cantaloupe and fell in an Echo Park supermarket.

A hospital spokeswoman declined to provide details on the popular drummer’s condition, citing confidentiality issues, but a band member confirmed that the injuries were serious.

Tyler said he really had a craving for some animal crackers, so I walked with him across the street to Vons,” said Alex Myrvold, bassist for The New Motherfuckers. “We were walking through the store, and Tyler was typing out a text message on his phone.

“We walked through the produce section and he was still typing, so he didn’t notice that a display of cantaloupes had fallen onto the floor. I tried to warn him, but it was too late.”

Several witnesses told The Tsunami that after stepping squarely on the fruit, Sabbag fell straight back and landed on his head.

“I first remember seeing a cell phone flying through the air,” said Elena Morales, who was shopping for diapers for her four young children. “Then I saw this guy on the ground screaming and writhing in pain. I immediately told the manager to call paramedics.”

Los Angeles Police Capt. Ed Parker said in an interview that the fruit had not been located or detained.

“What kind of stupid question is that?” Parker told The Tsunami. “Of course we aren’t going to arrest a cantaloupe. I’m going to have to end this conversation.”


Singer announces new vocal technique

In a move likely to shock longtime fans, Geoff Geis, singer for Los Angeles rock band The New Motherfuckers, announced this week an end to English-language lyrics in the band’s songs.

Instead, Geis told The Tsunami, he will only be speaking in tongues during live performances and studio recordings.

“I had been practicing this new vocal technique – speaking in tongues – for weeks in the shower,” Geis said. “Well one morning Duncan overheard me. Needless to say, we decided to lay down some tracks.”

Since abandoning singing actual words, Geis said the band has been able to churn out two dozen new tunes, which it will be debuting at a gig April 20 at Hot Town Gallery.

“Writing has been way easier,” Geis said. “Duncan comes up with a few different chord progressions, and I just start yelping. I think the fans are really going to dig it.”